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No Introduction.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My cereal has little tiny bugs in it that look like flax seed soIcan'ttellthedifferenceandeatthemasiftheywere! Should I finish my cereal? This is just one of the many many questions blazing through my brain like frozen molasses. Some of the bugs are still moving and I already ate half of the bowl of cereal! I have bugs in me!
I've gotta find some kinda rhythm now that I'm again in LA. Home was great. Fantastic. Good family times except with the sis, and I got to see so many people, which was really great.
Some girl, who we'll briefly refer to as Macy, was tinkering with her car outside my window. Judging from her fixing technique, I find it safe to say that she was looking for the squirrel that leaped into her exhaust, traveled through her brake lines and ended up in one of her six valves. How terrible! I hope the squirrel's ok! Well, the girl just drove away, so I'll assume that she helped the squirrel to safety. Don't worry. I'll question her later and get the full story.
Hey, so I got to work on a Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman movie for a day! I was an extra in a audience where Tom Hanks' character receives an award. Doesn't he seem to always be receiving awards? Well, he deserves them. He's the ultimate professional. Absolutely patient, and even a good bit hilarious. During the long time between takes, if he wasn't standing patiently waiting for excellent director Mike Nichols to get the next take ready, he was singing songs with us or just joking a bit. He has a terrifically funny manner. I saw him walking with some girl from the production, and he, in a very playful manner gestured with his hands and said, "I owe you 100 dollars! I owe you 100 dollars!" Just a funny/terrific seeming guy. I didn't talk to him or any of the other big people in it because, for goodness sakes, they're working, and I'd rather meet him as a peer than as an extra, and what are the chances of meaningful interaction? Not big. Slim like me.
Also, a guy named Jim who was an extra as well, kinda helped show me the ropes. He told me about positioning (getting next to a lead to help ensure you're seen on camera) and to get to the front of the line so you can pick where you'll be. Sounds kinda dog eat dog, but it's very unmalicious. Ok, so Jim knows a little bit about palm reading, he says. I take this for what it's worth, but it did seem at least a little bit accurate. He said, first thing he noticed was that I handed him my palm over half the distance between us with my fingers splayed open, meaning that I'm open in some kinda way. Then he shook my hand. He said I gave him the upper hand, which meant that I'm a little bit submissive, and I do know that I've been fighting my way to better asserting of myself, but I think it's right what he said about that moment. Also, he noticed that I had little callouses in my hands from playing piano. He said that maybe it's something that came kinda easy to me, but I don't find that true. Not in this lifetime. He found my lifeline and said that I'm not often sick. I know this. Excellent. Said my heart line wasn't complete, meaning love hasn't really manifest itself in my life. Well, ouch. Said just one love for me. What the shit does that mean? Sounds kinda final doesn't it? Don't quite like the sound of that. Also said I tend to perseverate over problems. Well good shot on that one. Hopefully not get stuck.
So after the holidays, here I sit, preparing the way for a new round of classes at Strasberg. My uncle in NJ had a contact from NY that I talked to that was so incredibly helpful. He helped show me a way. Said to get involved in as much extra work as possible, and in a year or two, I can know every casting director in the area, and if I'm patient, assertive and, well, good, he said getting things going shouldn't be a problem. I'm in it for the long haul.
In it for the long haul, got to see a guy named Paul, sitting in the center stall, drinkin' tea and howlin' "Ya'll!" |
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I'm here to announce that I've been voted to take over daily operations at Park La Brea, which is the company that owns the floor under my feet and the roof over my head. They didn't vote, so much as say, "well, ok, since you've got that sharp knife...I guess it's yours. Please don't scratch it. I just got it detailed."
I've been riding my bike like whoa too. I'm getting a little bit cocky. I hope I don't die, but if I have to, I hope I hit someone who will not hate me, but love me for my tenacity and wed me and start one of those cute little baby farms in suburbi...wait. I don't think baby farms are as profitable as they used to be.
Are you prepared for a colon related emergency? I thought not. Get yourself to a licensed practitioner! You don't know where they're at, so you better be prepared to Google like crazy if the time comes.
Who needs a job? I've got a peanut butter and jelly sangwich, some orange juice, applesauce and a bunch of classes at the Strasberg Institute. Color me courageous! |
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The more I hear/read/see people that I admire and the stuff they do, the more everything seems so normal, and the veil of mystery and status melts down to simple humanity. This is very good, for it eradicates ideas of celebrity, which are harmful to most everyone's spirit. It also means I get less excited about meeting people, because when you know they're simply human, they start to have lovely things called faults, which no one can admit to but our own actions.
Trumpets sound, and here I get to say I now have a Serenity postcard signed by Joss Whedon! I did not get to meet him myself, but a nice lady next to me won twice, so the second time she gave me the winning ticket! The event was one of 50 or so screenings of Serenity, most of them tonight, to raise money for Joss Whedon's favorite charity, Equality Now. You can watch his lovely speech about Equality Now right here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYaczoJMRhs. The man knows how to speak well!
And how are you lovely people? It was funny on the way to Cali (we drove 1800 miles!) there was a restaurant where the host greeted everyone with a surprising burst of a compliment, saying, "Hello you beautiful, wonderful people!" It was flattering, but also very loud, so I just tried to accept the comment graciously while leaning a bit farther out of the intense sonic noise he shot at us. Next he told us that he had deadbeat kids and how was he going to ever retire if he has to keep supporting them? Well, we had already solved one person's problem that day (girl with leprosy. Neat trick involving spit and green tea) so we could not offer him a solution.
Now, how was it sitting next to over 400 very excited Serenity/Firefly fans? It was pretty wild. Unfortunately I've seen the movie many many times, so it wasn't as fresh as it woulda been the first time, but it still showed that the man knows how to capture emotion, and just how much of a role the camera plays in the rhythm and drive in a scene.
One lady wore a sweater full of homemade buttons. The front was covered in Firefly stuff, the back, with Buffy. One girl had a funny pin that expresses discontent over the ending to Serenity that says "Whedon, you bastard!" But they only need to be pointed out the smarts it took to move us in the way that the movie did, because watching that show, it is easy to become very attached and involved with the characters, and when things happen that hurt those folks, well, people can get very snippy.
A lot of the people I met had already met many of the cast members at various conventions or whatnot, which gave me pause. Do I want to meet these people at weird, fluffy celebrations of their work, or would I rather meet them by happenstance, or because I am collaborating? I am much more of a "meet someone if it happens" type o guy. But meeting Ben Folds and Judi Dench? Those are folks I hold in high esteem, and it's always to express thanks for the work that they do. Never to simply meet just cause of their famousness.
Another triumph for today was mastering a short route through LA and a stretch of its beloved freeway. That took some guts, and was enough to almost discourage me. There simply was no reason not to once I had my Yahoo directions, and they directed me flawlessly! And the adventure was there for the doing! I'm not going to get to do the stuff I want to do by passing up opportunities. Plus, I've been reading about Lyra and friends in the His Dark Materials trilogy. They never know which way their going, but there are always the resources to get where you need to be, and if something strange happens along the way, that adds to your experience and capability too! I was sooper intense with driving and reading my directions, so everything went off without a hitch! And I feel like I've learned something! Always gotta learn, it feels like.
And now I will transport you to a place of passion and bliss! Yes, I can do that! Just count with me One...Two...Buffalo...YOU'RE THERE! |
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Before I expound upon all the wonders that are my new surroundings, you must first know this: I met Dame Judi Dench in London and have since read 2 books on her. She is absolutely amazing. Her presence is what you might call electric, and she has the most wonderful sense of humor. I got a picture with her, and I'm guarding it a bit closely, because the ravenous Study Abroad program wanted to use it as pro travel propaganda on their website! I didn't feel quite comfortable with giving it out like that. First of all, I believe we need the Dame's permission to use it at all, and secondly, it was a very personal thing for me. It's not for the entire world. I would share it with all you guys, but not other people, you know. It was an absolute pleasure to meet her, and it's mine, mine mine.
So, this LA place. Right now I'm a bit tired from playing some pick up basketball with the locals at the Pan Pacific gym, or whatever it's called, but that's just the thing; there were open games going on all over the place. From the first day I got here, I had the feeling that I was going to be able to adapt very well very quickly, and that really seems to be the case. It's so easy to interact with the people here, and they're all very interesting and doing their own thing. That's why it's so easy around here. The freedom of expression is almost a tangible force around here.
Our little patio community has the 2 most vicious birds in the history of birdery. There's a little scraggly cat that gets hounded by these two little flying weasels. Their wings have a stripe on the outside part of their wing that makes it look like a separate little wing when they fly. It's hard to describe, but it's dang cool and very unique. But they hound this cat like it's their job! They chirrup so loudly and unceasingly and dive into the cat whenever it's in the open. The most shocking part for me was seeing how the cat reacted, or the fact that it did not react at all. It was cleaning itself and being dive bombed by this bird, but it didn't do anything! The bird claws at it before swooping back up and chases it all over the place, but it doesn't do anything. It's a very friendly cat, I've discovered, but it needs to freakin' step up its game! I feel bad for it, and maybe it feels impotent because it's been declawed, I don't know.
Potty Break...
And now! Basketball with the locals! Unfortunately, I haven't played seriously in about 3 years, but it was great. I want to play there more. It was the most effort I'd put out for a while, and I felt like puking for a while afterward, but it felt awesome to stretch my limits.
Another wonderful thing to have close by is "The Grove". It's an outdoor shopping center that's joined with a food market. The market is great, but things are very expensive, same for "The Grove". The shops are all very hip, and there's even a very nice movie theater. I saw "The DaVinci Code" yesterday, and boy, Tom Hanks was just ripping awful. No offense to the guy, cause I've heard he's a wonderful fella, but if you've heard it said that he was miscast, believe it. Ian McKellan was the best part. He brought a very busy and eager and obsessed Teabing to the party, and every moment was a pleasure to watch. He was constantly shuffling papers or himself about, and the most incredible moment (I guess I can't say too much about the plot) came towards the end with a camera perspective from directly above and some very feverish decisions to be made.
Classes start next Tuesday for the Strasberg Institute, so I'm enjoying this free time whilst it still exists. I'm excited about that too. It'll be a great surprise, and I'm not thinking about it too much, but very much looking forward to it.
You take care, you Other People! I do regret not getting to see at least three of you before I went. Chris Ashbaker, Ben Shepherd and someone else who I'll remember soon. |
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Ok, so here's the bottom line. I hurt. In my leg. I was working on Richard III, but I'm one step closer...I really limp like him now. Swell. So, the day started with a bang. I was sittin' in the sun, kinda readin' kinda just thinkin'. It's so hard to read in direct sunlight. The brightness just bounces off the pages STRAIGHT INTO YOUR CORNEAS. I wasn't really tryin' to read too much. I decided it would be cool to jump across my outside stairs from one brick column type thing to the other. Don't know quite what to call em, cept they have sharp concrete things at the top. Also have no name for those.
I had no shoes. I had jumped the distance before with all kinds o success. Today? Not so much. I smashed my shin on the sharp concrete part. I have no idea how I landed, but I wasn't hurt in any other way, and I landed on the grass. Inspecting my leg, which didn't hurt too much, I found a very clean hole that went ALL THE WAY TO THE BONE.
Long story short. Was in el hopsital (cause they are real bouncy) from 2-7. Dan Fuertges was kind enough to drive me to methodist. It didn't hurt too much, so it was tons of fun making fun of it. I asked the desk guy if he needed my insurance card then and there, but he was real funny and said, "No. There are more important things to do now." That felt good cause it seemed like he cared and had a sense of humor. It didn't bleed quickly. Just trickled very slowly. I sat in a room with doctors dabbing at the lasceration and being funny people. I enjoyed them and their attention. The Legend of Bagger Vance was on. I hadn't seen it, but gave it little interest cause I'm not too much for feel good movies unless Cameron Diaz is headlining and being and Angel for Charlie.
So, the ER people were going to just (after a solid 2 hours of fiddling and leaving me alone with Will Smith and Matt Damon) stitch the top layer. Well, as I found out later, what about the freakin' muscle and everything else underneath, hmmm? My mom was, very coincidentally, having some mole removed by this plastic surgeon guy, who I have seen at least a few times before for other scrapes. He's the best around. He totally dominates his environment and will do what it takes to get people up to his speed. And he's almost 80. He yelled at some head nurses cause the whole electronic chart thing was a new, cumbersome system that was keeping him from giving me my surgery. The coolest part was when he said, "Can I go into the room yet?" Cause these little fomalities were keeping him from being his very unconventional self.
So, backtrack to when the ER doctor was pricking me with novacaine before my mom and dad showed up to suggest the other Dr. (Dr. Corley is his name). I wanted to watch and feel every inch of it. To remember the pain as much as possible. Well, against my will, I started to see stars. I realized I was getting very nauseous, and couldn't believe it! I didn't want that! I was bearing the pain, so dag nabbit, body stay with me! But I was going down, so I laid back and just laid in discomfort. Very uncomfortable discomfort. I don't want that kind. Thought I was going to throw up, but didn't. Got dang close. Then the parents walked in. Funny timing. Then we did the whole running around to find Dr. Corley again, which, as I said previously, just did some surgery on my mom. Funny little circle we had going, eh?
And I got X-Rays. I don't like those one bit. I feel kinda weaky weak after them. And I had a hospital gown on and everything. Wasn't butt naked underneath, though, dang.
I've got staples, stitches and adhesive on my leg now. I'll be practicing Richard III.
"Now is the winter of our discontent..." |
| » I'M IN A BLOODY FREAKIN' BALLET |
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Dear Everyone,
I'm in a bloody freakin' ballet. I hope you're excited too. I inherited the part from Jimmy LaHood cause he wanted to play guitar for Pippen somewheres. I really like it. Today was the first rehearsal. My part is minimal, but it's just fun to be in that environment. My partner is really cool. Her name is pronounced Atha.
Also bloody freakin' amazing about it is that we do the "patty cake" part that Mal and Inara do in Firefly in the episode "Shindig". That thrills me toes. Rehearsals are all the time next week, so it'll be so much easier to put off homework. There's something else next week that'll keep me from being estudious, but I can't remember right now.
You keep good care.
Mar. 25th, 2006 @ 06:34 pm
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I'm gonna be so fuckin' real you won't even be able to forget it. But you will forget that I said fuckin'. Cause I don't cuss. Ever. Either that or all the time.
Notes on the Florida trip? Well, a camera woulda helped me out on many occasions, like when the ocean swallowed up the sun, but it was always on the bus. Anyone know how to take a bullet to the face? I was just wondering. I was listening to 1812 overture, and when they do the canon part, I pretended like I was getting shot in the face. Or stomach. Shoulder works too. But really, after the initial spaz, do you just flop down? I suppose it matters where you got hit. Ok, so to the face? Well, that prolly just entails a bit of airtime and a lot of limpness after that. The shoulder poses some unique spinning and recovering-of-balance issues. We'll keep working on that one.
Gonna miss Chorale and everyone, yes, gonna miss it. The Bradley game last night was pretty good. My favorite part will always be the Ultra Intense 30 Seconds of Madness where no one had possession of the ball and people were falling over each other left and right and up and down.
I really liked V for Vendetta. Especially it's point about fear and being released from it. That hit high tones in my heartstrings, as well as the use of the 1812 overture. The buildup was amazing. "Can you hear the strings..." Everything. Natalie Portman? Amazing. I want to be her best friend.
A couple a weeks ago I decided I wished I could be a ballerina. Is that weird? No. They get to wear the coolest clothes and move super gracefully. That's where it's at these days. Graceful stuff. If you can walk around a room, or not just walk, but float, people like you about 2% more. It's true. And it's cause you've got poise. But not like in that movie 13 going on 30. I'm pretty sure that movie killed infants to achieve that crazy vibe it had around it and its wacky story.
So, school better not show up on Monday. If it does, I'll be pissed.
There's all kinds a power in this world. Power from talking loud. Power from being mean and meaning it. Power from posture. Power from stillness. Power from violence. Power from compassion. Power from assertion. Power from being oneself.
I'm gonna go do some of the coolest things in the world. Catch me later.
Mar. 18th, 2006 @ 10:00 pm
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Can I tell ya what a great time Florida was? It was sweet. The Chorale and all its happy members (save for Daniel Crumrine) enjoyed some time in the sun and warmer weather, thanks to Dr. Jost and driver Joe Cruise.
I've lived a life of observation and I'm a little tired of it. I wasn't so much observing a while ago, but now I'm back at it again, and dang it, it takes up too much brain. Observing has lots of creative perks, which I'm heavily in the market for, but all that brain it takes up is, well gone.
Then there's the future. What the shit is California going to bring? New stuff, and I'll be ready to meet it, I thought you should know. Cause what other choice do we have? To not be ready? Forget that. Who could come up with something like that? It's the future and it's quite ridiculously unplanned.
Deep is deep. People are deep, often unexplainably so, and unpredictably so. Let's have a moment to deduce all such people we know. You can't do it, can you? Nope. Let's shoot for whatever wisdom gets us lined up with whatever thing helps us become something great.
Lots of wandering sometimes, but that's good, great. Here's me lookin' to come out of the wandering mode for a while to do some real, actual stuff. As me, of course. Real me.
Mar. 17th, 2006 @ 01:13 am
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A girl followed a boy around for an hour or so. Step by step they walked together, or rather separately but in the same direction. He turned around. Considered her as the first thing he'd considered all day besides whether 9 or 10 was the proper waking hour. He said, "What are you looking at?" She did not wish confrontation, so she looked down at what happened to be a beautiful rock. She picked it up. "At this pretty rock," she said. He looked and looked. She approached and came nearer. One step back for him, two more forward for her. She knew he wasn't going too quickly. "For you," she said. "Thank you," he replied. "And your shoelace is untied," she added. "I like them that way," he said. "That way, when I fall, I know why." She stepped on his shoelace. "Now walk." He tried and fell. He knew she'd done it. He let her trip him. "Are you hurt?" she asked. "No," said he. "Then get up." "Pull me." "I will." "Thank you."
Mar. 5th, 2006 @ 08:35 pm
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| » It Never Does Come Back Down |
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I just viewed Match Point. Boy, that movie gives such good thinking. I just saw a picture where boy was behind girl, with his arms around her, holding her. What a picture. Looked happy, but who can hold anyone like that? Keeping them where they are. Trapped. That kind relates to Match Point. Main dude (cause I'm not lookin' up his name) has a girlfriend, and then wife. But who is she? She gets put aside. She lives for main dude, but how can she grow? Outgrow her terrible circumstances? Well, certainly not when she's living with/for Main dude.
Gets me thinkin' about how far I want/need to go. Who has the time to get caught in a crappy relationship? Yes, there are wonderful ones, but who can think of sharing a bed/all their time with someone? We need time to get shit together, and really, there don't seem to be too many people to share life fully with. So what do we do? We write and create and light fireworks in our pants cause it's darned exciting.
But what do we do post fireworks lighting? Lots. And it involves dinosaurs and prehistoric scenes. That's jus the way it is. And we write songs. Cause my name's Pony and the music's in my head. Sometimes it's about the message. But there's such ugliness and discontent on the way to the message. Maybe that's why we need thrilling heroics and someone to lead us out of the blanket. But then again, shit, we're old enough to do that ourselves, not that it doesn't hurt to have Nathan Fillions to root for. And god dammit, we root. Like hell.
And then we never grow up. Even though we're old enough and with a few lessons under our belt. We keep fuckin' strapped into our lil tyke seats. Not too hard. We let creep in what we want. But for the most part, the younger state of mind lets us forget crap and accept more readily. The younger sort don't get jaded.
All states are fluid, and we can't be blamed for being in one or another.
Psychologist from the 60s says, "If we can share our lives with others, it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped."
That quote says the best things, most obvious, that we can't connect with everyone, and we can stop trying so hard, for gosh sakes. We let connect what feels right. We put out the effort, but we don't break our backs.
No blame, but responsibility and understanding.
Never forget your name. Claim your birthright, and make somethin' friggin' great.
Feb. 19th, 2006 @ 05:22 pm
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